‘Love Is Blind’ Season 4 Alums Jackie Bonds and Josh Demas Split: ‘I Did Everything I Could’

Love Is Blind season 4 couple, Jackelina “Jackie” Bonds and Josh Demas, have called it quits.

During an Instagram Live session, the 27-year-old dental assistant revealed that the pair had broken up, a little over two weeks after the Love Is Blind: After the Altar special aired on Netflix.

According to Jackie, the 31-year-old project engineer allegedly ended their relationship after she went against his wishes and chose to have a conversation with his ex-fiancé, Monica Rodriguez, during the three-part special.

“[I’m] still sick about it low-key. I love that man,” she confessed to her followers in a video captured by RealityAshley. “I was like, ‘Damn, I had all these life plans with you, you know? And then you just don’t even care,’ and I’m like, that’s crazy, over a conversation with somebody? — It don’t matter.”

“I tried to fix it, I tried to mend it. I did everything I could, and what’s crazy is that looking back at these messages, I look like a begging ass b—-,” Jackie continued, adding how she felt “sick” re-reading the texts where she allegedly “begged” him to be with her.

“It is what it is,” added Jackie, who has since deleted all photos of Josh on her Instagram aside from a few promotional images for Love Is Blind.

PEOPLE has reached out to Josh for comment.

Fans learned in the After the Altar special that Josh and Monica got engaged in the pods during season 4 — but it was never shown on camera. Not long after, the two called it quits and Josh went on to pursue Jackie after she broke things off with her own fiancé, Marshall Glaze.

But Monica — who was “best friends” with Jackie — later spoke out about their engagement on social media, which caused a rift between her and the new couple. In particular, Jackie accused her of being “messy” and “vindictive” with her approach of going public with the engagement.

Josh also accused Monica of being “disrespectful” and a “clout chaser” during their explosive confrontation in After the Altar.

Back in May, Jackie shared how she and Josh were so in tune with each other while opening up about finding lasting love in an Instagram Q&A. 

“I always dreamed for a love like this. He really is my twin,” she wrote alongside a photo of the couple, who had moved in together after the show. “We both make each other laugh. He understands me, he is such a man of patience.”

“I know his buttons [and] he knows mine,” she added. “We barely argue.”

The television personality added that Josh has been her “rock” amid the fallout from her breakup with Marshall.

“As I cry & try to fight the world, he tried his hardest to defend me while hiding his pain,” Jackie explained. “In my times fighting I forgot about how it would affect him. I broke his heart and it harbors in my soul still.”

She concluded her message by sharing her hope for a future together. “He is my person I love him I’d marry him a thousand times over & have 49 kids with,” she wrote.

“This is my love, soul & heart. I take his love with me everywhere,” she added. “The love I feel for him is unimaginable. Part of my chromosome, part of my DNA.”