Though Clay Gravesande’s mom Margarita said her son “wanted to be married,” she noted he was “dealing with a lot of emotions that really [wasn’t] his to deal with,” which led him to dump Amber Desiree “AD” Smith at the altar
Clay Gravesande’s family trauma was a large focus on this season of Love Is Blind — and now he and his mother are opening up about it together.
The Love Is Blind star, 31, and his mother Margarita Gravesande appeared on Thursday’s episode of Tamron Hall, where the two reflected on his shocking decision to leave Amber Desiree “AD” Smith at the altar.
Margarita admitted that she was devastated to see how much her ex-husband Trevor’s infidelity had affected her son, and revealed why it was important to her to confront him when the wedding did not go through.
“Well, you have to understand as a mom, when I looked at him, my heart was just broken,” she told Hall, 53, when asked why she had the vulnerable conversation with her former husband of 24 years in front of cameras.
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ABC/Jeff Neira
Margarita further explained that it was simply within her instinct as Clay’s mother to understand why he couldn’t go through with the wedding.
“And I knew exactly in that moment what was occurring, because I saw it on his face,” she shared. “He wanted to be in a relationship, he wanted to be married, but I also felt like he was just dealing with a lot of emotions that really was his to deal with.”
She continued, “And unfortunately, I didn’t know what I didn’t know until in the end, and I never said anything to my ex-husband that I knew because that was his story to tell him.”
While Margarita said that it was difficult to see Clay and AD’s relationship play out on screen, she also shared why she wanted the entrepreneur to go on the Netflix reality series to begin with.
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ABC/Jeff Neira
“I wanted him to find someone who would be able to take care of him and to also to just see him as I see him because I knew that he was a great provider,” Margarita said.
“And he has a great heart and I wanted someone just to be able to mesh with that,” she added. “And I thought if he can get someone that was spiritual, as well as someone who just kind of [had] the chemistry with him, it would be a great story.”
After Clay shocked fans by realizing he couldn’t commit to marriage in the season 6 finale of Love Is Blind, his parents had a deep conversation about Trevor’s infidelity and the way that impacted their son. Though Trevor insisted that AD could “fix” Clay, Margarita pointed out it wasn’t a woman’s responsibility to “fix” her man and called out Trevor for how poorly he treated her. She also emphasized how his actions not only affected her, but also their son and his views on staying loyal in a marriage.
During Love Is Blind: The Reunion on Wednesday, Clay apologized to AD and offered a bit of insight into where his head was at in the moment.
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Courtesy of Netflix
“Throughout this whole process, one of the biggest things I struggled with was getting out of my own way,” he said. “AD always … made me feel like the best person but I couldn’t get out of my own way. I kept looking at myself in the mirror and saying, ‘I’m not the guy that deserves love and marriage.'”
“She’s honestly the love of my life, and I did make a mistake going to the altar and saying no,” he admitted.
Clay also revealed that he had begun going to therapy “to be a better person” and added, “It was a big let-down and I apologize. I love you. You are the love of my life and it was a mistake.”
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Greg Gayne/Netflix
AD also shared in the reunion how she reacted to seeing the confrontation between Clay’s parents. “That conversation really closed the circle for me,” she said. “There were a lot of missing pieces that I just could not understand… hearing that conversation really showed me that he was battling things that there’s nothing I could’ve done to take that stress from him.”
Following the season finale, Clay told PEOPLE that his parents’ marriage was at the back of his mind through much of the series, but was still hopeful about the experience. He revealed, “I think for me, I made the commitment, but when I was actually in it, I was like, ‘Can I really do this?’ So it was a lot of self-doubt coming through.”
The reality star added, “I’m going to stand by everything. I think for me it was like a roller coaster, but I went through those hurdles of emotions and it made me a better person so I wouldn’t change anything.”
