Love Is Blind Season 3 wrapped up about a week ago, but I’d be lying if I said it has left my mind. We’re all cursed to watch this show forever.
This show’s moral alignment is clearly chaotic evil, but Season 3 is a swirling vortex of chaos and confusion unlike anything we’ve seen in the previous two seasons.
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The chaos was mostly provided by two couples, but Matt and Raven individually brought a fair share of chaos to their respective relationships.
So here, with the benefit of hindsight, is a ranking of all the couples this season, from least to most chaotic:
5. LEAST CHAOTIC: Alexa and Brennon
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Alexa and Brennon are not particularly chaotic, and one thing they have on their side is that it’s clear they are very into each other — they’re the only couple this season that liked each other from the very beginning. They got through the season without any major blowups, and what few disagreements they did have were discussed quickly and efficiently. If there was a chaotic moment in their courtship, it was when Alexa’s dad whipped out a bunch of knives to perform his new son-in-law’s circumcision, since he assumed Brennon would be converting to Judaism. It was all in jest, but Brennon was spooked.
Are #Brelexa (sorry) in it for the long haul? It’s hard to say, but they both clearly want to be in it for the long haul, and that’s an important step. If there are any lingering red flags, it would be how smug they both were about their relationship throughout the season and in the reunion. In their defense, it would be hard not to feel smug in the face of the other couples this season.
4. Raven and SK
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When Raven started working out in the middle of her pod dates, I thought, “Surely she is the chaos queen of the season.” Who does that?? But as the last few episodes aired, she showed emotional depth that made her a lot more endearing. Plus, she had the good sense to see straight through Bartise’s nonsense during the pool party and dodge that bullet. It didn’t always seems like she was particularly into SK, their wedding, or their upcoming life together, but she planned to say yes at the altar. That has to mean something…right?
As for SK, he was patient, loyal, and enthusiastic, even when his partner didn’t give him much to work with. His reliable calm contrasts well with Raven’s restlessness, and sometimes opposites really do attract. What has these two so low on the chaos ranking is their decision to date outside of the show after not getting married — aka the only sensible decision anyone has ever made on this program. And for the record, Raven seems waaaay more into SK at the reunion (and on her Instagram) than she ever did during the season.
3. Colleen and Matt
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I’m just gonna say it: It’s weird that the show never addressed that Matt was Colleen’s third choice among the men. It obviously would have been a pretty awkward conversation (and Matt would have reacted badly), but that’s a huge thing to not talk about! Overall, these two had middle-of-the-road levels of chaos courtesy of Matt’s quickly shifting moods. One moment, he and Colleen were being super sweet to each other, the next he’d be yelling and storming out of the room.
Matt’s never-ending threats to abandon the show started off pretty chaotic, but became less so when you realized that he was never actually going to do it. We love a drama king, I guess? The most chaotic thing about this couple was the fact that for all their PDA, I had no idea how they were going to answer at the altar.
2. Zanab and Cole
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Oh boy. These two. You may be surprised to find them in second place on this list, but there is a reason for that. It was clear as early as Episode 4 that Zanab and Cole were woefully mismatched, and their train wreck of an engagement/wedding was the only logical conclusion. They were missing the ~unpredictability~ that comes with true chaos, but they certainly had plenty of chaotic moments (they are in second place after all), so let’s recap some of them:
– Cole to Zanab: “This is a boring conversation. Let’s talk about something awesome. What is your favorite big cat?”
– Cole, a 26-year-old man, shooting a Nerf gun in the direction of a hot stove.
– Their cringe-inducing interactions after their first night together.
– Cole’s apartment.
– Cole to Matt: “We should just switch fiancés.”
– Zanab’s very public, very brutal takedown of Cole at their wedding, which was clearly not improvised!!! That woman was plotting for weeks…or maybe days, given how quickly things move on Love Is Blind.
On the matter of the Cuties: It doesn’t look like Cole meant to body shame Zanab at all and genuinely was just keeping their large meal in mind. HOWEVER, given the context of his constant comparisons between Zanab and Colleen as well as his other comments, it’s understandable that she’d interpret his comment that way. Intent vs. impact and all. The fact that Cole is too insensitive to see that and that Zanab thinks so lowly of him that she assumed his worst intentions just speaks to their incompatibility.
1. Finally, MOST CHAOTIC: Nancy and Bartise
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For the life of me, I do not understand what was going on here. Where Zanab and Cole were mutually destructive, Nancy and Bartise were just baffling. Every scene between them had my jaw on the floor. Let’s start with Bartise, who is clearly the villain of the season. Someone lied to this man and told him he was the most dazzling, brilliant star in the sky, and he believed them. He probably thinks his radical honesty about Raven was noble, but there’s nothing noble about his complete disregard for Nancy’s feelings. There’s just something truly unhingedaout the discrepancy between how Bartise sees himself and how he’s perceived by the rest of the world (besides Nancy, that is).
Speaking of Nancy, can someone in the comments explain to me what was going through her head this season?? Because I do not understand. Bartise told her she wasn’t attractive enough for him, openly desiredaother woman, and even disrespected her family. Why would an accomplished woman like Nancy put up with this? She was even rude to her mom for Bartise! For BARTISE. Nancy said he blindsided and gaslit her, which I guess he kind of did — the note he sent her on their wedding day certainly implied he was gonna say yes at the altar. But Nancy! The signs were there!
But of course, the most chaotic of all is Andrew.
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